Understanding adolescence

A few weeks ago, I found myself in conversations with several mothers who were concerned with the behaviour of their teenagers. Although amusing, they were irritated and bemused at the change in their relationship and the radical change in their wards who were becoming more self-assertive and argumentative. Generally, mothers are happy, managing their “babies” but can get confused by watching the behavioural and emotional changes that happen in children during their teens. One mother laughed that her daughter hissed at her, locked herself in her room, demanded meals and laundry but was very polite to her friends. Parents do realize that the young person is trying to be independent from them and appear to have new connections with others. However, mothers often feel baffled as they do not know how to deal with their youngster’s increasing defiance. Even the growing person is not always aware of the changes that are happening in their relationship with their parents, peers and other family members. This can be described as “adolescent turmoil”, a critical stage in human biological and psychological development when they are no longer children but are also not yet adults.

“Adolescence is the period of the decisive last battle fought before maturity. The ego must achieve independence, the old emotional ties must be cast off, new ones created." Helene Deutsch

Between 10 years and 19 years of age, young people begin to realign their attachment preferences from their parents to peers such as school friends. Adolescence is defined as “the growing up period between childhood and maturity” (Short Oxford dictionary) a period of almost 10 years. While they strive for autonomy, their bodies are also going through profound physical, hormonal and psychological changes rendering them extremely vulnerable and volatile. To add to the dilemma, parents, while encouraging the adolescent to strive for individuality, also want to maintain their parental responsibility and possibly not grant the adolescent complete independence and the freedom that they desire - thus causing further friction at home. During this time the adolescent is unconsciously seeking a new independent identity with their family while trying to maintain their individuality. Thus, the parents will notice a change in the youngster’s clothing, hair, enhanced interest in friends of opposite sex, food preference and overall behaviour. This span of achieving their own identity is called a moratorium stage and is a healthy psychosocial development period. Furthermore, the young person may also have bouts of moodiness, increased self-consciousness, conflict with parents, rash and reckless behaviour (increased risk taking) and a need for more privacy. The parents need not worry much, provided the child is not experiencing excessive anxiety, depression, vulnerability to violence, criminal activity or abusing substances. Defiance and the need to be different from their family and immediate environment is normal and expected. Parents will be happy to know that the adolescent-parent conflict declines in late adolescence.

It is important to appreciate that the young person’s brain is reorganizing itself, consequently the individual may show defiance or an adventurous attitude thereby running into highly risky situations. Furthermore, as the prefrontal cortex that is responsible for self-regulation reasoning, planning and inhibition is yet not fully matured, they are likely to be more emotionally reactive, and exhibit aggression both verbal and physical; the latter is due to the influence of the area of the brain called the amygdala. Mood swings are common and further compounded by changes in sleep patterns. Students wake up early for school and enjoy staying up late on the weekends, leading to fatigue and needing more sleep. They may also prefer isolating themselves. As a result, it is hardly surprising that this young family member is vulnerable, angry, emotional and/or volatile. On a positive note, teenagers still enjoy (and expect) the security of their home, laundry, meals and a warm clean bed. Any noble thoughts for the time being are on hold. Furthermore, any pre-existing mental health issues such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) anxiety or other neuro-divergent issues often flare up during this time.

While these young minds are going through intense changes, they become more susceptible to being influenced by peer groups and social media. It cannot be ignored that technology platforms have honed in on adolescent vulnerability with bottomless scrolling that fosters continuous activity and exposes young people to powerful audio-visual content. The latter might be sexually inappropriate, violent or culturally unacceptable. For parents, this is an opportunity to guide the young person (even with the help of older siblings or trusted people) to make their own decisions but without being autocratic or hostile.

Consequently, a secure and confiding relationship with a tight social unit of peers and supportive role of the family is crucial to resolve the situation. The family can help by listening patiently and being non-judgmental, while acknowledging their feelings and difficulties. Reprimanding or punishing the youngster for defiant behaviour is undesirable and may aggravate the crisis. Please note, the young person appreciates and genuinely needs parental support. Ultimately, a secure and stable environment will help to identify and manage problems in a constructive manner. Furthermore, family support can help curb the desire for risky temptations as well as to equip and guide the teenager to navigate the storm and stress of growing through adolescence.

In the next few articles, I shall discuss selected issues faced by the adolescents such as eating disorders, self-harming and emotional regulation.

Nivedita M. Dhadphale

MSc (Psychology) (Strath), MBA (Strath).

PGD Psychology and Neuroscience of Mental Health (IOPPN, KCL)

Assistant Lecturer in Psychology at the British University of Bahrain.

Member British Psychological Society (BPS), Fellow Chartered Institute of Marketing (CIM), Member Applied Neuroscience Association (ANA).

(This article is for information purposes only, and queries should be directed to trained medical personnel).